School report
By Ken Swarner
Here's the monthly letter that came home the other day from my daughter's teacher:
Dear Parents/Guardians.
Happy November!
We've had a successful start to the school year. There's nothing more inspiring to see than a classroom of fourth grade children eager to learn.
Their little faces light up when they grasp a new concept --their hands fly into the air when it's time to share what they know. A rewarding experience for me, to say the least.
We have had a few problems, however, with our lunch lines recently - children taking cuts. While I do not condone this behavior, would you please remind your child that it's also not nice to say: "No cuts, no butts, no coconuts."
The first graders caught on to this and wouldn't stop saying it when the mayor stopped by for Make A Difference Day.
On a positive note, our Harvest Party was a great success. The children enjoyed the bounty of treats, and those that weren't at the principal's office for feeding gummy worms to the gerbil had a great time. Our next class party will be for Thanksgiving. To prepare for the feast, the children will be learning the hygienic hazards of double-dipping.
The class also enjoyed our field trip to the veterinarian last week as part of our Fins, Fur and Feathers unit. Thanks to those parents who helped chaperone. As you have undoubtedly heard by now, we had the unique opportunity (not to mention surprise) to see a cat neutered. Of course, I sincerely hope those children who threw up are feeling much better. Our next field trip will be to the City Sewer as part of our People in My Neighborhood unit.
Academics are progressing smoothly in class as well. I would ask, however, that you don't do your children's homework for them. There's nothing worse than doing your children's homework...unless, of course, you do your children's homework incorrectly. My 'frown face' stamp has received quite a workout.
Please also be aware that all next week the school nurse will be vaccinating those children whose shot records are not up to date. The nurse requests that you prepare your child mentally for this traumatic event. She recently had knee surgery and won't be able to chase down frightened children.
As for the Lost and Found, the custodian wants to remind parents to check through the items in the basket and take home what's theirs. The basket has been moved from the library to the covered shed outside...so those reading books don't have to plug their noses anymore.
The PTA asked me to pass on their gratitude this month. They would like to thank all of the parents who recently contributed their time and money to the PTA school fundraiser. The cookie dough sale was quite a success. The money raised will help us paint over the naughty words in the boy's bathroom, plus replace those science kits that caught on fire during Mr. Jorgenson's Bunsen burner demonstration. If you are in the building, and get a chance, please stop by Mr. Jorgenson's classroom and give him a few encouraging words. The doctor said it would be three weeks before his eyelashes grow back. He could use the moral support.
Well, that's all from the Fourth Grade class. If I don't see you personally before then, I hope each and every one of you has a joyous and happy holiday season.
Sincerely yours,
Ms. Goodesteem
P.S. Report cards will be issued Friday. Some of you should rest before then.
Ken Swarner is author of the new humor book: "Whose Kids Are These Anyway?" (Penguin/Putnam). He can be reached at www.kenswarner.bigstep.com.
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