The Electronic Parent
By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman
The age of the electronic parent is upon us. There can be no question about that. It only takes a brief walk through a local department store or mall to notice that the preferred gift for any child older than the age of three is electronic. Parents are buying computer games, i-pods, TVs, videos, and cell phones at an ever- increasing rate. In addition, parents now purchase electronic "toys" that help their children learn to say words, count, write letters, and even read. One toy manufacturer went so far in extolling the virtues of a tutorial device that he claimed, "It is simply the best way to help your child learn to read."
Why are no alarms going off? Why has no one produced an electronic device to warn parents of the dangers ahead? Hasn't anyone created an electronic program to signal that our parenting power pack is getting dangerously low?
Make no mistake about this---electronic purchases are changing the face of parenting. The role of parenting is being turned over to the electronic world, and this does not benefit the child or the parent. Let's take a closer look.
It's not new or even surprising information that children in America now spend, on average, 6 ½ hours a day exposed to electronic media that includes TV, computers, listening to music, and playing video games. What is surprising is that so few parents seem to care or are willing to do anything about it.
Consider that young children are now regularly hearing an electronic voice pronounce words to them instead of hearing their parent's voice reading aloud. Preschoolers and kindergartners are getting a jump-start into color identification and letter writing with computer programs instead of drawing and coloring with Mom or Dad at the kitchen table. School-age children are occupied for hours by hand-held video games instead of an engrossing paperback book. Adolescents and teens are listening to hours of music on i-pods or Nanos instead of communicating with the family. Does it occur to anyone that something is missing here? It's called connectedness and family interaction.
The expanding use of electronic media as a substitute for involved parenting has created the Great American Family Disconnect. Increased emphasis on TV, the internet, and video games is creating an emotional gap between parent and child and severely limiting family interaction. The electronic takeover of parental responsibility is creating family distance, isolation, and a decrease in feelings of belonging and connectedness. Disconnecting from family is currently growing in direct proportion to the strength of connection our children feel to their favorite electronic device. Simply put, electronic media in a child's life increases isolation.
It is time for parents to pull the plug on the electronic takeover and put the human touch back into the parenting equation.
It is time for parents to realize that 6 ½ hours a day of being plugged into media leaves children little time to plug into their family.
It is time for parents to recognize that there is no healthy reason for a child to carry a video game with him wherever he goes, or for a parent to make a child's bedroom so attractive and so media friendly that she wants to spend most of her time there by herself.
It is time for parents to accept their parenting responsibilities and make a commitment to active, "hands-on," parenting.
While riding in the car, unplug the headphones, turn off the DVD player, and tell your children a story about the day they were born or about a mouse that lives under the deck. Shut down the computer, turn off the x-box, and play a game of chess, checkers, or monopoly together. Stand up, walk away from the TV, and go shoot baskets, skip rope, or ride bikes with your child. Build a snowman or go on a nature walk. Invest time in your children rather than in the newest electronic device.
Don't wait until your parenting power pack goes dead. Make a commitment today to be the best parent you can be by being present and interactive in your child's life on a regular basis. Take back the sacred role of parenting children from the electronic world. Be the parent you were called to be.
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