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Lisa Martin
Lisa Martin, PCC (Professional Certified Coach), is the author of Briefcase Moms: 10 Proven Practices to Balance Working Mothers’ Lives. She lives what she writes and talks about. A working mother with 20 years of corporate and entrepreneurial experience, she is the founder and president of Briefcase Momsâ, an international coaching and personal development company with a mission to “make it easier for working mothers to live balanced and successful lives.” She helps professionals, executives and entrepreneurs succeed in all areas of their lives- career, family and personal fulfillment. Subscribe to her free newsletter at: www.briefcasemoms.com
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Five Steps to a More Positive You, by Lisa Martin, The Working Mother’s Coach
Do you want to feel great about yourself? Would you like to see all that you wish for come to fruition? Do you want to find the right balance? There's a secret weapon that will make it all happen-and it's You. The way you think about yourself will be your true ally in living an inspired and balanced life. Your ability to think positively and believe in yourself will form the cornerstone of your success. Here are five strategies to help you become your own champion.
1. Appreciate you
One way to develop a strong sense of self-contentment is to give yourself the gift of self-appreciation. Offer yourself the same respect and kindness you give to those you care deeply about. Treat yourself to favorite pastimes - great music, happy people, laughter.
2. Watch for negative self-talk
I've noticed that women, in particular, have a tendency to pick out, and pick on, the parts of themselves they like least. I can't tell you how many times I've heard women speak disparagingly about themselves: At the gym, a woman complains that she has a "jiggle butt." At a fundraiser for my son's school one woman tells
another, "I am such a bad mom. I bought a cake for the cake walk (a fundraising initiative) instead of making it myself."
Whether said as a joke or not, these self-deprecating words can be damaging when the negativity stems from a deeper sense of dissatisfaction with oneself. Oftentimes negative comments tossed off in jest can come from a much more disapproving inner dialogue than might be revealed at the gym or the school.
You may immediately relate to these examples and recognize this kind of behavior as your own, or you might not even know that you have negative conversations with yourself. Take the mirror test to find out: The next time you see your reflection in a mirror, notice whether or not your first thought is a complimentary or a critical one. If it's critical (and for many of us it will be), it's time to stop running yourself down. Focus, instead, on what you like about yourself.
3. Focus on your attributes
Being happy in your own skin means getting comfortable with who you are, the way you look and what you want out of life. Instead of focusing on what you don't like about yourself, do your best to honor and appreciate what makes you unique. Your smile. Your sense of humor. Do you have wonderful hair or fabulous cheekbones? Now go further. What qualities define you as a person?
What do you absolutely love about yourself? Is it your attitude? Resist the temptation to criticize yourself. This is a learned behavior and it can be unlearned with intentional action.
4. Don't apologize for your achievements
We have all achieved things in our lives, both big and small, personally and professionally. Often, though, negative self-talk will stop us from basking in the glow of our successes. You might find yourself saying, "Hey, that wasn't so great" or "I could have done it better" or "I didn't really deserve that." You have the power to shut down this negative self-talk by honoring and celebrating your achievements. When you give yourself permission to feel positive about your accomplishments and refuse to listen to that negative inner dialogue, you will feel pleased. Proudly share your wins, rather than apologize for them. You might even amaze yourself when triumphal words such as "I'm great at my job," "I am the best mother ever" or "I rock" roll off your tongue with hardly a thought. Watch how your confidence builds as you praise your wins.
5. Do the best you can
Your best is going to be different from situation to situation. It will change depending on how rested you feel, who is involved and where you might be. No matter what the circumstances, the most you can ask from yourself is to do your best... and then remember to acknowledge that what you've done is just that. Through this self-acknowledgment that you can be released from angst and regret, and possibly see the humorous side of things. This one action will contribute greatly to your sense of well-being.
© Copyright 2006. Lisa Martin. All rights reserved.
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