Mother Nurture
© Rick Hanson, Ph.D., and Jan Hanson, L.Ac., 2002
Getting Enough Protein
What can I do to feel less run down in the afternoon? Maybe I need to eat differently, but Im so busy heres a typical day: bagel and coffee for breakfast, salad for lunch, granola bar (or leftover peanut butter and jelly sandwich!) for a snack, and spaghetti for dinner.
In general, we recommend our daily Mother Nurture recipe, designed specifically with a moms nutritional needs in mind. Its comprised of only seven ingredients. In sum, every day you should try to eat:
1. Eight to twelve ounces of protein
2. Five to seven servings of fresh vegetables, and one to two fruits
3. Unrefined oils and essential fatty acids instead of refined or hydrogenated oils, or trans-fatty acids
4. Two to five servings of unrefined, varied whole grains
5. Organic foods whenever possible
6. High potency nutritional supplements
Zero or very little refined sugar.
Nutrition is a huge subject, so if theres room here to make just one suggestion about your own diet, it would be this: eat protein at every meal, especially in the morning. That will even out the blood sugar crash we bet youre feeling in the afternoon, and give you energy throughout the day. For a busy mom, good sources of protein include:
" Eggs - If youre in a hurry, hard boil eggs in advance and eat one or two at breakfast.
" Fish - Salmon contains high levels of the essential fatty acids every mother needs. Besides eating it fresh, you can find salmon jerky in many health food stores. Try to minimize fish at the top of the ocean food chain like tuna, shark, or swordfish because mercury and other toxins increase as you move up the chain.
" Lean meat - For convenience, many health food stores sell different kinds of tasty jerkies made from beef or turkey, but without any nitrites.
" Nuts - Almonds are particularly high in protein; almond butter on a rice cake topped with apple slices is a delicious and healthy breakfast.
" Soy - You can add soybeans to stews or soups, or toss tofu chunks into your stirfry or casseroles. Try replacing half or more of the wheat flour with soy flour. Soymilk comes in many flavors, and you may be surprised to find that your children really like it.
" Hummus - This Middle Eastern food is made from garbanzo beans and sesame seeds. You can buy it in most supermarkets or make your own, lower-fat version.
" Protein shakes - If you are going to use these regularly, alternate types of protein powder (such as whey-, soy-, or egg-based) to get a good variety.
" Dairy products - Although milk, cheese, and yogurt are good sources of protein, they are best consumed in moderation because many people have an allergy to milk or cannot digest the lactose in it, and keeping the digestive tract in good shape is a top priority for a mother. If you have trouble with dairy, goat milk products may be tolerable.
" Combining vegetarian foods - If youre a vegetarian, you probably know about using food combinations (like rice and beans) for maximum protein. (Diet for a Small Planet or Laurels Kitchen offer good introductions to this subject.) Since meat is the only significant source of iron and vitamin B12 in the diet, a vegetarian should usually take these as part of a daily supplement.
Gratitude
Ive been thinking lately that I need to focus more on the ways my glass is half full rather than half empty otherwise, I feel down and cranky. Any ideas?
This is a beautiful question, and in response we would like to offer an excerpt from our book, Mother Nurture.
A Mothers Meditation on Gratitude
Set aside a quiet time during which you can reflect on some of the many things you could be thankful for. As a starting point, you might read the passage below to yourself or out loud, adapting it to your situation as you like.
There really is so much to be thankful for.
I am grateful for my children, for the delight and love they bring, for the sweet smell of their hair and the soft touch of their skin. For the first time they smiled at me or walked into my arms. For the meaning they bring to life. For receiving my love and lessons. For being their own persons, for giving me their own love and lessons. Having them at all is a miracle, and the rest is details.
I appreciate myself. For the love I have given my children, all the diapers changed, all the dishes done. For the long hours Ive worked, the hoops Ive jumped through to keep all those balls up in the air. For the efforts Ive made, the many times Ive stayed patient, the many times Ive found more to give inside when I thought I was empty.
I feel thankful for the life Ive already had, for the good parts of my childhood, for everything Ive learned, for good friends and beautiful sights. For the roof over my head and the bread on my table, for being able to have a life that is healthier, longer, and freer than most people have ever dreamed of. For this beautiful world, where each breath is a gift of air, each dawn a gift of light. For the plants and animals that die so I may live. For the extraordinary gifts of evolution I carry in each cell of my body, for the capabilities accumulated during three and a half billion years of lifes presence on our planet.
For the wonder of the universe, for all the atoms in my bodythe carbon in my bones, the oxygen and iron in my bloodthat were born in the heart of a star billions of years ago, to drift through space, to form a sun and planets, to form the hand that holds this book and the eye that reads this word. For all that was in order for me to be. For grace, for wisdom, for the sacred, for spirit as I know it. For this moment, this breath, this sight. For every good thing that was, that is, that ever will be.
Dealing with Insomnia
Rachel, our 11-month-old, is now sleeping (mostly) through the night (yes!). But Im not. I fall asleep OK, but wake around 3 or 4 am (when Rachel used to), toss and turn for a few hours, and then maybe get another hour of sleep before the alarm clock goes off.
Its common for a mom to be lying awake in bed while her baby or toddler is snoozing blissfully. Unfortunately, low quantity and poor quality (= depth) of sleep erode a mothers health and well-being, and give her a strong shove down the slippery slope toward depression. Getting plenty of good sleep is a crucial aspect of replenishing oneself and preventing depletion. Happily, there are plenty of good methods:
" Try to reduce caffeine overall, eat dinner early, avoid late night chocolate (it contains a caffeine-like substance), and restrict alchohol (which relaxes you at first but then can keep you awake).
" Do everything possible to lower stress. Cortisol hormone normally rises in the morning to prepare you for the activities of the day, but with too much stress, this hormone will kick into gear extra early, waking you at 3 or 4 am. (You can also test cortisol pretty inexpensively to see if this is happening to you.)
" In the hour before bedtime, do relaxing activities like listening to music, meditating, doing yoga, taking a bath, singing to your baby, etc. Avoid arguments with your children or mate.
" If your mind is worrying or obsessing, try writing down your concerns and promising yourself youll do whats possible to deal with them in the morning. Or extend compassion toward yourself or toward the people you are worrying about.
" Relax your body by imagining your hands are very warm, progressively relaxing each part of your body, or imagining you are in a very peaceful setting.
" Make sure you are getting enough magnesium and calcium, both of which are needed for sleep. The Daily Value (DV) of them is 320 milligrams (mg) and 1000 mg, respectively. You could try a slightly higher dose, 500 and 1200 mg respectively. (For details about nutrition for mothers, see our book, Mother Nurture: A Mothers Guide to Health in Body, Mind, and Intimate Relationships, published by Penguin in March, 2002.)
" Finally, you could explore the herbs, valerian and passionflower, available in tinctures at the health food store. Low doses of the hormone, melatonin, can help a person return to sleep. And the amino acid precursor to the neurotransmitter, serotonin 5-hydroxytryptphan (5-HTP) can also aid sleep. But you should NOT try these if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, and they are generally best considered only if you are working with a licensed health practitioner experienced in their use.
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