Overcoming the "Dilemma"
Greg "Dr. Dink" Dinkin
It's every single parent's dilemma. Work more so you can provide more materially for your kids and you end giving less emotionally. Work less to spend more time with your kids and you have a tough time paying the bills. Is it any wonder that I grew up hearing from my mom say over and over, "It isn't easy being a single parent."
As the saying goes, "Necessity is the mother of invention" and being "inventive" lies at the heart of solving this dilemma. Most financial gurus focus on ways to save money, but most single parents already know how to stretch a dollar. And besides, you're probably getting tired of being told how much you can save "brown-bagging-it" by experts who don't know how tough it is to find the time and energy to go to the store, schlep the groceries in, and start spreading peanut butter with three little ones clamoring for your attention.
It's often much more fun and practical to look for ways to make money than to save money. Now before you say, "The only way to make more money is to work more which means more time away from my kids," stop and think if there are any ways you can generate income and spend time with your kids. Go ahead and take out a pen and make a list of five and I'll do the same.
- Baby-sit other kids or pets in the neighborhood.
- Start a home-based business.
- Make crafts or jewelry in which your kids can actually get involved.
- Work with your kids to set up jobs such as delivering newspapers, cutting grass or washing cars.
- Organize a yard sale for yourself and for your neighbors.
If you look through the list, you'll see that none of the activities seem like chores and all of them will allow you to spend time with your kids. Perhaps even more importantly, they can serve as a great learning tool and a valuable way to teach responsibility.
Fine, some of you may not feel comfortable charging your neighbors to baby-sit their kids or take care of their pets. So don't charge them. But by doing these favors, they will be returned to you in kind. If nothing else, you should see that sharing saves money.
You've heard over and over that "it takes a village," but unfortunately, we live in a world where we have to be very careful who we expose our kids to. I am not suggesting to be callous about sharing responsibility. What I am suggesting is to work with your close friends and relatives to enhance the experience of raising your kids.
It's not that much more expensive to make lasagna for eight than for four. Why not get into a routine in which the Smith's come to your house every Tuesday for dinner and you go to their place every Thursday? Not only will you save money, but your kids will enjoy interacting with other kids and welcome a break from their evening routine. It may also go a long way in keeping you sane by as you'll have the chance to talk with someone your own age that understands the demands of child-rearing. In addition, you'll walk away from these nights exchanging books and games that add to your child's learning experience without having to spend a dime.
In my book The Finance Doctor, I demonstrate that there are many ways to improve your financial status without negatively impacting your lifestyle. As parents, you are aware of the pressure that comes from your kids to keep up with the other kids. It may even make you feel insecure to tell your kids that you can't afford something, but there are times when you simply have to say no. At other times, you may be able to meet those demands and still stay in your budget.
When I was in middle school, my brother and I wanted to wear Nike shoes and Polo shirts, which my mom couldn't afford to buy from the department stores. So twice a year, we took a day-trip to the outlet stores and bought brand-name merchandise at cut-rate prices. These trips not only improved our wardrobe, but also taught us about the value of money. To this day, my mom and I still go to outlet stores, where we can save money, buy great clothes, and most importantly, be together.
My mom's philosophy is simple: never pay retail, and it extends far beyond clothing. The biggest leaps you can make in your financial health often come without having giving anything up. In my book, I include a "Buyer's Antibiotic" that teaches you how to shop for the best prices. For services such as car insurance, long distance, and especially credit card debt, you can put hundreds of dollars back in your budget simply by making a few phone calls and getting competitive bids.
Paying excessive interest to the credit card companies is what pains me the most. If you are anything like the average American and carry $7,500 worth of credit card debt, the difference between paying 20% interest and 11% interest is $42 a month. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to put $500 a year towards something you enjoy instead of making the banks rich? You can often reduce your rate by simply calling your credit card company and asking for a lower rate or by transferring your account to another credit card.
Trying to balance paying the bills and spending more time with your kids is hardly an easy task for an any parent, much less a single parent. By being inventive, sharing, and refusing to pay retail, you have taken three vital steps in improving your financial health and overcoming the "dilemma."
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